After two years of studying and getting back into teaching, I had planned to spend this summer working on my book, doing some daytrips, and going to back to Lithuania for a couple of weeks. Then two major issues sidelined those plans.
1) I found out I have Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. 2) I was offered the opportunity to teach full-time in Lithuania starting this fall.
I’m sure you must be thinking that I said “No” to Lithuania. Because why would someone who is sick and doing a five-month treatment plan go halfway around the world for an essentially volunteer position? On paper, logically, it doesn’t make sense. I would be asking a friend in my situation if they are really sure. And I am. When I take a deep breath and calm my whirling thoughts, and fears about finances, my spirit knows it’s right.
That doesn’t mean I can stick to my original plan, though. I have to figure out what to take with me, including all the supplements for my treatment. I have to do paperwork and fundraising. I have to reprioritize and be flexible.
I have to step out on faith.
But I still feel overwhelmed with the three page to do list that I’m working my way through much more slowly than I would like. When I feel the anxiety rising, I wonder if I really am doing the right thing. Staying here certainly feels easier. As my dad said, “Doing the same thing is always easier in the short-term.” It’s known. At least it feels known.
A leap of faith requires stepping off the cliff and trusting the Spirit’s current to lift me up. It’s in moments like these that one of my favorite texts comes to mind – a text that always reminds me of my sister and Chariots of Fire – “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Man, I love Isaiah. I can always find words of comfort in those tempestuous pages.
And so, in the tempestuous moments of my own life, when I feel grounded and the baggage is too heavy for lift off, I wait. At the right moment we’ll soar.
** Note about the Lyme/RMSF – the treatment I’m on is working amazingly well. We caught things early, so there’s less damage to repair. My practitioner is treating me holistically, so I have had to make some major dietary changes but I’m feeling better than I have in years.